Paralysis and Rage
What we call trauma is the inability or refusal to experience life as
its intended since it is too intense, too complicated, excessively
uncomfortable, or too scary.
What often results from trauma is that parts of ourselves get frozen
in place, which is meant to be processed appropriately over time, not
stay stuck indefinitely.
So, trauma alone has a particular paralysis effect.
When the natural paralysis also fits with the type of emotion that is
itself frozen, that can be a powerfully paralyzing effect that can be
extraordinarily difficult to extricate oneself out of.
Disempowerment, dependence, learned helplessness, neglect, violate
boundaries, and their cousins are all parts that, if they are frozen
from one’s past, can create pervasive weakness or paralysis since they
are coupled with the natural traumatic paralyzing effect.
How do we remove ourselves from such a predicament when the solution
requires energy and some sense of competence, which is precisely what
is lacking? How do we break this vicious cycle?
God gave us one built-in solution that many are afraid of using since
society has vilified it as a “bad” emotion: RAGE or ANGER.
Anger is useful in breaking us out of paralysis since it will give us
the energy, courage, and motivation to embrace the confrontations that
we need to have to make the new status quo work for us, not against
When we are trapped in familial, social, or spousal dynamics that are
stifling and feel “off,” we need a potent energy source to break us
free to regain respect, reciprocity, and healthy boundaries.
Let’s learn to reflexively welcome our rage as the friend that it is
who seeks for us to re-establish ourselves in ways that meet our mind,
body, and soul needs that were being unfulfilled or violated by a
status quo that wasn’t working for us.
When has anger helped you in your life? Does shame from society or
otherwise hold you back from tapping into your anger even when it will
serve you well? How else do you see anger benefit you in your life
other than breaking you out of paralysis?