Golden Chains of Dependency
One challenge that I worked on is excessive dependence. This
dependence is a growing issue with children staying by parents until
their late 20’s or even early 30’s.
The bountiful abundance that we experience has allowed this luxury of
choice to be entertained.
When help is offered that makes life easier, simpler, or more
convenient, it is difficult to refuse.
When faced with a choice of picking difficulty, busyness, or
discomfort over the comfort of the familiar, how can I turn it away?
Some may consider this problem to be the trivial, easy challenge of a
rich white guy. However, this challenge takes away the same power one
would need to extricate oneself from this predicament.
There is another layer to this dependence, which is that many will see
you the same way as you were when you were a child expecting you to
follow the same dynamics when you were little.
By becoming independent, one can defy these at times broken dynamics
to make them work for you.
Eventually, there needs to be a paradigm shift from “Others primarily
support me” to “I support myself and will pay for everything until
others add money to my bank account.”
By clarifying roles and declaring independence, we can take a brave
leap forward to building ourselves and readying ourselves for
What is wrong with taking support? Is that not what family does for each other?
The main feature of independence is the willingness to walk away if
the way the giving is done does not serve your broader interests of
development, happiness, and sustain high levels of energy and peaceful
When we are ready for the sweet pleasure and empowerment that comes
with independence, let us take responsibility for our lives, finances,
and personal development.